Saturday, 23 February 2008

This is funny!

Okay, so much for a hiatus, but I had to share this - kindly stolen from Joseph with laughter.....

I bet the website owner answering has had these silly questions for so long he doesn't care about potentially offending. Those questions are stupid though - and funny!

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These questions about Kenya were posted on a Kenyan tourism portal by potential tourists from various western Countries and
were answered by the website owner.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Kenya? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Mombasa to Nakuru - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometres….take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Kenya? (Sweden).
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes!

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Kenya? Can you send me a list
of them in Nairobi and Mombasa? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about
Koala Bear racing in Kenya? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific.
A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which
does not…oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every
Tuesday night in Koinange Street. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Kenya?(USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Kenya? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Do you have perfume in Kenya? (France)
A: No. We don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Kenya? (USA)
A: Anywhere where a significant number
of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Kenya where the female population is
smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Kenya? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in Kenya? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Nairobi and is milk available all year
round? (Holland)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk
is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Kenya who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
Kenyan snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.

Q: I was in Kenya in 1969 and I want to contact the girl I dated while
I was staying in Mombasa. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first